


Acceptance

by LKKG



Series: SNAFU [2]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Just a little self reflection and sorting out of feelings you know how it is, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:15:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26487046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LKKG/pseuds/LKKG
Summary: It had been two weeks and counting, and Leorio hated it.
Series: SNAFU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1880113
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Acceptance

Kurapika had been gone for a long time. It had been two weeks and counting, and Leorio hated it. He hated the empty shoe mat when he got home after classes and work, hated the silence when he got up in the morning. Hated having to turn on and off all the lights himself, hated shopping for one instead of two, hated the vacant chair across from him while he ate, and most of all he hated the constant, burning ache in his chest that he knew was an inappropriate level of worry to be considered platonic.  
  
It hadn't been like this before. Kurapika had often disappeared for a week or a weekend and at first Leorio had relished his time alone. Then after a while the apartment had started to feel a little lonely when Kurapika was away, so he'd find some nice person to follow home when he could, someone sweet and cute but without strings attached, or he'd hang out with a friend, or when all that failed he'd stay late and study in the school library until he couldn't stay awake before shuffling back home.  
  
It had gotten worse next; the casual curiosity about his friend's whereabouts giving way to genuine worry that grew with every passing day, then hour, then minute. Checking his phone constantly, in case Kurapika had called, in case anyone had called. Images coming unbidden to his mind of Kurapika in trouble, Leorio's lack of knowledge about what his friend did in his absence driving his imagination to extremes.  
  
Somehow his brain had ignored the signs, his conscious mind rebelling against even the possibility, so it wasn't until one night a week and a half before, when Leorio had been pulling some brunette he'd met at a club in for a kiss in the alley outside that it finally hit him.  
  
He'd closed his eyes before the first press of soft lips against his, his hand sliding into the girl's shoulder length hair, when suddenly his subconscious began filling in an entirely different picture: the height was wrong, the hair should be blond, the lips should be bare of cosmetics, and the taste, his subconscious wholeheartedly believed, should be less like alcohol and more like fresh green growth or good coffee or maybe-  
  
Leorio had stalled, then pulled away quickly, giving some excuse that even to his ears sounded shitty as he turned away, barely registering the girl's protests. He'd returned to the apartment without thinking, his feet taking him back out of their own will and not his, and he'd collapsed onto his bed without changing clothes and stared at the ceiling until the sun slipped through the curtains and his mind finally let him rest.  
  
What was worse, the next (and subsequently last) time Leorio had tried to jerk off, he'd closed his eyes and suddenly found images of Kurapika; coming through the apartment door, flushed and breathing heavy, shirt soaked in sweat from working out; in a long skirt on a lazy day, curled up on the couch with a book tucked into his lap; Kurapika in jeans and a close fitting shirt at the stove, narrow shoulders tapering to a narrower waist, blond hair tied up; that damn earing shifting in a breeze; delicate wrists and deceivingly lieth fingers that secretly held a strong grip, the rest of that body the same way and flexible to the point of bonelessness- Leorio had forced himself to stop. He shouldn't, he WOULDN'T...but he could. He could have done it with just the most innocent of mental images and that thought was enough to send him out of his bedroom and into a very long, bitterly cold shower.  
  
He had tried not to think about it since then.  
  
And that had led him to today, alone in the apartment he shared with his best friend, forcing himself to sit down and think about all this.  
  
He had never been particularly picky with his past partners. He had mostly stuck with girls more out of ease of access than anything else, since it had been primarily girls who had approachrd him in clubs. That being said, he'd been with a few guys before, and a handful of nonbinary individuals. He'd never been too exclusive, requiring only enthusiastic consent, appropriate health and safety measures, and the understanding that it wasn't serious and never would be.  
  
In any case, he had no qualms with Kurapika's sex or gender, not that Kurapika really had any sense of the later. It was more that this was his best friend, and that it wasn't just desire like he was used to. Thinking hard, Leorio realized that he had never actually felt this way about anyone, and that this went further than just wanting to get laid and became something infinitely more. He wanted to hold Kurapika, wanted kisses goodnight and good morning and welcome home and welcome back and hello and goodbye and more, wanted the space between them when they watched tv together to shrink to nothingness so he could put his arms around Kurapika. He wanted Kurapika to call him everyday he was away, tell him what was going on and wanted Kurapika to miss him the way he did.  
  
Basically, he realized he liked- no, loved, his best friend.  
  
Leorio sighed and put his head in his hands, sitting at the kitchen table where he'd been staring at the empty chair in front of him. He was already so fucked, how had he not realized it before? Kurapika was gorgeous, how had he never considered it before?

And what the hell was he supposed to do now?


End file.
